Every family has their foibles and characteristics and mine, of course, is no exception. As is, I believe, frequently the case, my assessment of my own family was mostly, um, assessed, during my late teenage years and perhaps into my early twenties. I was past the sullen non-communicative phase and was attempting to enter the world on my own two feet and managed to maintain a convivial, if sporadic, relationship with my parents and brother. In that light, I came to the conclusion - often supported by other members of my family, mind you - that were were a reasonably sane family but with a sort of hands-off approach to affection. There wasn’t a lot of “I love you” going on in my house, nor was there very much hugging. We got along tolerably well, but the downside of this sort of coolness is that after a while it tends to become a dual self-fulfilling prophecy / un-examined history.
Yesterday, as I drove from L.A. to Modesto for a show with MN, I had as my companion - as I frequently do - Spot, a plush red-tailed hawk I picked up in Boulder some years ago. Having him there on the drive reminded me of a night many years ago when my family was driving to New Hampshire from our home in Boston to enjoy a weekend of skiing. I was probably no more than 10 years old at the time and my constant companion at this stage of my development (how far I’ve come) was a tiny stuffed rabbit named Snuffy. As we often did, we made a stop in the town of Plymouth, NH, about 30 miles south of our final destination. There may have been some grown-up reason for stopping here, but what I remember most was visiting the Woolworth’s and ogling over their stock of Star Wars action figures (or, more often in this part of the country, knock-offs), or marveling confusedly at the bright-blue vinyl of a Blondes Have More Fun picture-disc, attracted by the novelty of the picture disc and yet completely unable to understand what Rod was doing wrestling with some crazed half-leopard/half-woman creature. I would have to consult my D’Aulaires for more information.
This particular stop over, we trudged through the snow and slush and loaded ourselves back into the station wagon for the final leg of our journey. We were tired, it was late; we all looked forward to a good night’s rest before heading out to the slopes for the one bourgeois indulgence we allowed ourselves. Upon arriving at the ski house tucked into the White Mountains, I discovered that Snuffy was nowhere to be found. I looked all over the back seat of the car, in my duffel bag of whatever it was a 10-year-old found necessary to bring on a weekend away from home (Mexican jumping beans, two packs of baseball cards, and three mismatched socks, perhaps?) and very likely began whimpering like a… well, like a 10-year-old kid. After some damage-control, it was my mother who deduced what had befallen poor Snuffy. Next thing I know, my dad is driving me all the way back to Plymouth - easily an hour round-trip. He pulled the car into a parking spot near where we’d been before. There, on the ground in the next spot over, a little slushy but none the worse for wear, was the bunny. I was so happy, I probably cried all over again. Who needs a hug and a “I love you” when you’ve got that? Happy father’s day, dad.
P.S. Snuffy remains with me to this day, though I think he prefers to avoid road trips.